How you are in a relationship is very important to the durability of your relationship. It all starts at the introduction. Remember that the introduction is just that. THE INTRODUCTION.
Many relationships fail because the individuals start the relationship with minimal effort and refuse to allow a foundation to build. If you can’t build a house with luck, why would you try to start a relationship based off luck.
The introduction is typically when you say “Hello” for the first time. Once you say “Hello”,the door is opened, and you are invited inside that person for the first time. Now you have two decision. Are you going to enter or walk away?
In my opinion, this is where many go wrong. People tend to go wrong because they enter that door without having any form of strategy or worse, having a strategy that will later be self-destructive.
On a daily basis, I hear people give advice about not giving somebody your all at the introduction. From the other side of the spectrum I also overhear people talking about dates that ended horribly because the other individual spilled too much at the beginning.
I will say that I can understand where they are coming from in a sense but where would the common ground be? Well the answer is simple. Be you and give what you have.
When I say to give them what you have, I’m saying to give them your heart. Give them your time. Give them effort. Give them gifts or even money if you can.
Yes I do feel that giving too much detailed information could be a bit exhausting and well, a little weird, but I also feel that it could be a little refreshing too. Giving what you have at “Hello” gives the person the opportunity to get a feel for you. To see you for who you really are.
If somebody only talked to you the way that they thought you wanted them to talk to you or to tell you only what they felt that you wanted to hear, how could you ever get to know them? Wouldn’t it be a waste of time.
Giving your all at the beginning is essential to building the base of a strong relationship whether its just as friends or somebody who you will eventually say “I do” to.
Tell that joke. That person may truly find it hysterical. Tell that past hurt. That person may understand and feel comfortable to share their previous pain. Open that door. Pull out that chair. Show pictures of your pets. Talk about embarrassing moments. Offer to pay the bill. Hell, give your opinion on why you feel you shouldn’t have to pay the bill. Give what you have.
Giving what you have may turn the person away, and that is perfectly ok. Everybody has the right to like or dislike what you have just like some people love olives while others (like me) hate them. Just know you giving what you have may also bring them closer. Being honest about who you are, for both of you, will be the best thing that you could do.
Now this goes both ways. Allow them to give you all of them. Don’t only give them all of you because they feel neglected. Just as you are able to tell them what bothers you and what makes you happy, give them the same respect. Not giving your all will just delay the inevitable.