Dead man walking

During a eulogy at a funeral, a young woman speaks about her late husband. While she was on the podium she was describing who the man was. With tears rolling down her face she explains how he was the most loving person that she has ever met. That he would give the shirt off his back and give it to an enemy if need be. How he didn’t believe that people from anybodies past should automatically be somebody to throw away. He saw great things in everybody whether it was an ex, an old friend, a coworker and even strangers.

She elaborated on how he was always the life of the party and that everybody always loved when he was around. He complimented people and always had to make people feel good and be happy. That he was a people person and could honestly talk to anybody. How his words could deescalate any negative situation and turn an uncomfortable environment into an inviting one.

He was a helper and motivator. He was a comedian. He was a teacher and a therapist. He would inspire people to be great. He was strong an hardworking. He was smart and open minded. Always gave every situation a positive perspective. He was one of a kind. He was always doing something to help others and one of his biggest flaws is that it was hard for him to say “No.” He was amazing.

At the end of the funeral the woman went home and went through an old photo album and reminisced about the past. The happy times as well as the bad and that’s when it hit her.

The majority of their arguments was derived from him simply being him and the perception of his qualities being a form of disrespect. She went back to what she said in the eulogy and replayed it in her head.

“He was loving and would give his enemy the shirt off his back if need be.” If that was so, then why did I force him to throw away pictures of people he shared memories with in his past. Memories that made him happy. If that was so, why did I tell him he had to remove and block people on his social media.

“He was always the life of the party.”, but I would give him hell and guilt trip him knowing that he would stay home if it would keep me happy. Slowly his phone notifications lessened. He stopped getting invited to hang out because they already knew the answer would be no.

“He complimented everybody and wanted to always put put a smile on peoples faces.” How dare he disrespect our relationship by lifting her up by telling her that she was beautiful, but in his eyes maybe he saw something that I didn’t and noticed that she was having a bad day and wanted to make her feel better.

Going through the memories, she realized that her husband died a long time ago. That person she described was not the man in the coffin. He was not the therapist. He was not the motivator. He was not the life of the party. He was not the uplifting man that helped people who were down.

The moral of this story is that we are all unique. We are all different. Our personalities are what make us who we are and I believe that everybody should be allowed to be who they are. I do not agree with forcing people to stop being who they are because the end result is just an empty shell. A dead man walking!

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