Understand your feelings

Greetings! How are you doing today? While reading through this post ask yourself, “How am I feeling?” Throughout the day we feel many feelings such as fear, anger, joy, acceptance, disgust, sadness, surprise, anticipation and the list goes on. As we all know, we go through many different feelings throughout the day. From the moment our alarm goes off in the morning to the time we lay our head in the bed, our days are consumed in an abundance of feelings and emotions and can tend to give direction to our day unless we grow to understand why we feel what we are currently feeling.

Without properly allowing ourselves to understand our feelings can be very dangerous. Like putting ourselves on autopilot and just going where the road takes us.

How many times have you woken up, made your coffee and had goals set to crush early in the morning and the moment you open up your news feed on social media, got that email or text, or just simply hit traffic in the morning and it disrupted the way that you felt. Did you retaliate? Did you respond or cut somebody off because of the feeling at that moment? Acting on negative emotions out of impulse rather than understanding how and why you feel that way will tend to put you into a deeper negative situation.

Try this exercise. Next time you feel a negative feeling and you are actually aware of the feeling, purposely stop moving. Ask yourself what you are feeling and then ask yourself why you feel that way. Was it the way that somebody said something or a look that they gave you or could it possibly be just how you read the text. Maybe it wasn’t directed the way that you read it. Once you figured out what actually gave you the negative feeling, then you can think of all of the way to react to it to deescalate the situation or even feel the need to react at all.

Four years ago I had a traumatic even that I put myself in all because I failed to understand exactly how I felt and I reacted in a way that put me into a situation that almost killed me. Ever since then I have made it a purpose to constantly ask myself “How am I feeling and why do I feel this way?” and so far it has worked very well for me. There were times since then that I was able to get out of fist fights, I was able to calm somebody down with an unnecessary argument and I have been able to help educate the people around me to do the same. Now I do it out of a force of habit.

At first it may seem very alien like and uncomfortable to do but you will notice that it will also change the way that people look at you. Instead of being that hot head that nobody wants to be around out of fear of you lashing out, they may now feel comfortable inviting you places. Instead of somebody who turns a simple situation into an all out war, now people will feel comfortable to open up and hold a conversation with you and it gets even deeper. You will feel better towards yourself and be able to have better relationships with the people around you. You will feel more comfortable taking the wheel of your life and going the direction that you choose instead of having the situations of life push you where it wants you to go.

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